Summary – Do not do things which are calculated just to get attention and nice comments. Getting nice comments is good because it indicates that you are not an outcast in the society. But at the same time, you have to do things that are for your own improvement.
This letter by Seneca got me by surprise! Let me explain why.
Are you attention hungry?
When Lucilius was focusing hardcore on his studies and he was sacrificing everything else every day to become a better man, Seneca felt a sense of immense pride. This is evident from the opening statements in his letter: “I view with pleasure and approval…” and “I do not merely urge you to persevere in this; I actually implore you to.”
Now imagine how many times have you done things just to hear these words. I can’t even count how many times I have done certain things just to get approval from my parents, friends, and even my partner. It feels good, like we have accomplished something, when we hear those words from them. But soon it fades away and you are left with yourself, and it is then that your mind starts asking you “Was it worth it? Are you happy? Now what?” And if any answer is “I don’t know” or “No” then you need to focus deeply on the last question.
Focus on self-improvement, not self-advertisement
This is the reason why Seneca advises Lucilius to refrain from misguided means of self-advertisement. He tells Lucilius not to follow those who crave for attention instead of their improvement. This not just applies to doing certain things but also following a certain way of life. Are you doing yoga to have its enormous benefits or are you just posing for an Instagram post? Are you writing journals so that you can reflect upon yourself or because you want to be part of a group you consider ‘elite’? Are you going to the gym so that you can tell others about it and post tiktok videos or are you really lifting?
Having said this, you should not defy everything and make yourself an outcast either. “Inwardly everything should be different but outward face should conform with the crowd.” By saying this, Seneca is not telling us to trick anyone, he is simply pointing to our nature of projecting ourselves superior. Let’s take my blog as an example. What Seneca means is that I should not write an article to garner millions of views (although that is something the crowd loves) but I should focus on developing my thoughts and ideas, as well as my writing which will help me become a better thinker and writer. Instead of focusing on getting views and writing and publishing low quality content quickly, which will increase my SEO ranking, but get me nowhere in terms of developing my thought process, I should focus on the process of writing rather than the outcome after publishing.
Conclusion
If I want to make a difference in your lives, I should be admirable but at the same time understandable. “One’s life should be a compromise between the ideal and the popular morality.” Does that mean I should stop striving to be wealthy? No. Then is there no difference between me and them? Most certainly there is. Seneca gave a great example here. Anyone who observes me closely should know that I am different from the mob. Anyone who enters my home should admire me rather than my furnishings. “Finding wealth an intolerable burden is the mark of an unstable mind.”
Seneca’s Find Of The Day
In this letter Seneca shares what he noticed in another Stoic writer Hecato. “Cease to hope, and you will cease to fear.” If you keep your hopes in check, you will limit your fear. Although Seneca wasn’t surprised by this finding, I was! He says, “Fear keeps pace with hope. Both belong to a mind of suspense; to a mind in a state of anxiety through looking into the future.” Our biggest blessings – the remarkable ability to remember and the astounding ability of foresight – are also our biggest curses. “Memory brings back the agony of fear while foresight brings it on prematurely. No one confines his unhappiness to the present.”
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