Think Right Toward People

The Magic of Thinking Big – Chapter 9

“Success depends on the support of other people.” It’s true not only because the author says it, but because I have seen this with many people and I’ve heard this from many successful entrepreneurs as well. One thing which I found common among them all was “until you can get everyone on the same page – your page – you cannot lead effectively”.

Martin Luther King Jr. was just a young pastor when he was chosen as their leader by the Montgomery Improvement Association to boycott the transit system and contest racial segregation on that city’s public bus system. Why? Because he was respected and liked by everybody, even the white folks. That was the reason he had some great connections that he could rely on when needed. This comes to show that likeability is a huge factor in winning people’s support.

I’m not a very socially active person. I’m an introvert. I seldom used to talk to new people, waited for them to initiate the conversation. But giving tags doesn’t mean that I should accept it as who I am. I realised that this was not the best way to lead me as well as others to success. The author says “Take the initiative in building friendships. Introduce yourself to others at every opportunity”. And that’s what I’ve been trying to do these past few months. I’m accepting to be a little more uncomfortable each day, going just a little out of my way to converse with more people, genuinely being interested in their lives, so that I can build strong and happy relationships. I am not perfect, so I don’t expect anyone else to be perfect. Everyone is living a different life with different experiences, and everyone has their limitations.

The author then gives the idea of channel P – the positive channel, and channel N – the negative channel. We can tune-in to any one of these channels in any situation. Thinking any kind of thoughts starts a chain reaction of similar thoughts in the mind. Thinking positive thoughts will bring in more positivity to our minds and thinking negative thoughts will bring in more negativity to our minds. Here I must confess that I usually fall prey to the prejudices others bring towards a third person. Due to this, I start disliking the individual without even meeting or talking to them.

This is a very dangerous exercise because not only am I jeopardising a potential relationship with someone, but I’m also letting myself easily get influenced by other people. I have to follow some of the suggestions made by the author to avoid these kinds of negative thoughts to spread in my mind. One such method is to think of one positive quality about the individual. In a chain reaction style, this one thought will lead to another and another. This will make my mind calm and make me happy. The author also says the same thing – “Thinking positive about someone gets positive results”.

One last thing that the author mentions, which I follow as a principle, is “Don’t blame others when you receive a setback”. I believe that everything I do is on me, regardless of it resulting in a good or bad situation. For me, blaming my setbacks on someone else would cause me to have a lot of hate toward that person, and if I have hate towards someone I can’t focus or think clearly. So instead of hating on someone else, I accept it as a result of my actions. This way I can work on improving myself rather than sulking on why it happened and hating someone else for it. As the author says, and I quote, “How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win”.

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